INTERESTING TIMES

It’s fantastic to look at people and see that they really, deep down, are enlightened. They’re It. They’re faces of the divine.

And they look at you, and they say ‘oh no, but I’m not divine. I’m just ordinary little me.’ You look at them in a funny way, and here you see the buddha nature looking out of their eyes, straight at you, and saying it’s not, and saying it quite sincerely.

And that’s why, when you get up against a great guru, the Zen master, or whatever, he has a funny look in his eyes. When you say ‘I have a problem, guru. I’m really mixed up, I don’t understand,’ he looks at you in this queer way, and you think ‘oh dear me, he’s reading my most secret thoughts. He’s seeing all the awful things I am, all my cowardice, all my shortcomings.’

But that’s not what he’s looking at. He’s giving you a funny look for quite another reason altogether. He’s giving you a funny look because he sees in you the Brahman, the Godhead, just claiming it’s ‘poor little me’.

~ Alan Watts, Lectures on Zen/Spiritual Alchemy

I've been trying to be polite. I am more dedicated to my own practice than to any teacher. I've studied under many teachers, and in many schools. Some new teachers were far better than some veterans. Every teacher teaches me something. Every school has taught me something.

Sometimes the thing I learn is a negative. Part of growing up and separating from your parents is deciding "I don't want to ever do that." What I have been learning recently is that many teachers are so busy teaching that they don't take the time to breathe. That is to say, the best teachers are the ones who are truly present with us in the practice, and not simply filling airspace with instructions.

My yoga practice involves tuning in to my own inner voice, and being present with my breath and body. This was a great learning for me, because I grew up very American, unaware of my body, or worse, in denial of it.

( Exhale, inhale... )

The Guru Papers
Masks of Authoritarian Power
by Joel Kramer and Diane Alstad

This book was particularly formative for my thinking.  I believe the first time I read it was about a decade ago, though it's been out longer.  I've recently loaned it to a friend and every time I pick it up I run across another awesome thought.  Basically it starts out looking at gurus, who they are and what they do, and why.  The tail end of the book is about authoritarianism, and the nuts and bolts of how people fall prey to bosses that don't even pay them.  It was partly this book that programmed me to be hyper-aware of the word "should".  I'm ready to re-read it, soon as I get it back...and have the time.

What's up with that? I mean, as I look around, I am on this path toward naturopathy. Everybody I know or meet is going toward nursing or doctoring or acupuncturing, or working as a massage therapist, or treating addicts, or teaching yoga or meditation or nutrition, or opening up a practice, or getting a new certification, or writing a book about all the important stuff they've learned in life. We're all doing it. Some are ahead of others, but we're all going the same direction, like lemmings. Everybody's got a web page. Everybody's self-promoting, wanting to be the guru, wanting to be paid for what we know. We all are hip and cool. What next?

I wonder when the day will come that there's no money for what we know and can communicate, and the matter becomes what can we DO. Besides teach. Who was it that said those who can't do, teach? And why is it that my life is full of gurus or every stripe?? Or is it that my life is full of entrepreneurs, those who have the smarts to separate a sucker from his money for no more than an idea or an experience? And what in life is worth more than an idea or experience? And are they actually making a living with all this purveying of insight? Am I in a bubble? I must be in a tiny little cultural bubble.

I know I'm going around in circles. Seems to be status quo.

The question is, how does a guru dress? And how sincere does the smile really have to be? Because after a while, all those phoney blissed out guru smiles really get tired. It's hard to maintain the appearance of enlightenment. A lot of work, and the veneer is full of gaps.