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[personal profile] liveonearth
I am having tremors in my left hand. I don't know how long it's been going on, because I never paid attention before. I thought I was just getting low blood sugar, which I do if I forget to eat. But today I thought to check my right hand, and it is steady. I have had no caffeine. I had breakfast of cottage cheese and peaches about 2 hours ago. And my right hand is steady.

I noticed it because I was getting ready to put away the beads that have been on my desk for two days now. I was thinking of making something before I put it away. I was looking at beads and holding the dish in my left hand. The hand was trembling, and as I watched the motions increased. Pretty soon it was wobbling several inches.

What part of the brain was that? The part that inhibits the reflex to stop overshoot? I think there is something wrong with that part of my brain, on the right side. The side that I usually hold a phone to. First year medical student self diagnosis disease. Should I believe myself?

It is the cerebellum that dampens reflex oscillations. When I tense up all the muscles around my arm, wrist and hand, I can almost steady the hand, but not completely. Holding up an object makes the tremor bigger. Is this the inverse myotatic reflex?

It was more than a year ago that I noticed I tend to fall to one side when I stand up from sitting. I think I may pursue this and change my life dramatically. Enough denial. Enough accepting platitudes as if they were truth. What lengths sometimes I must go to break through my own denial. What proof I need of what is right before my eyes. I feel sick.

Date: 2008-06-29 07:45 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] labyris.livejournal.com
Yes, please see a doctor before you worry yourself to death. You know better than I that worrying and anxiety cause stress which can cause disease all by itself.

Scary feelings, I know, to have a sense that you are not well.

I am sending calm waves your direction.

Date: 2008-07-01 02:37 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] liveonearth.livejournal.com
Thanks for the calm. It helps just to think "be calm". I have a doc appointment coming up and will voice my concerns.

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