The Darkness

[liveonearth]

Haven't really posted in a while. I've been under the weather. Not sure what's the matter, but something isn't right. Too tired. Barely keeping up with school. Today I probably didn't pass the organ systems test. I checked my answers and counted up, and I was unsure about more than half of the questions. Not a good average.

At least I don't have a test tomorrow. I needed a night off. There's a full moon tonight, and an eclipse. Should be complete right about now. Going outside to see.

Comments

[(Anonymous)]

I hope you feel better soon, you have a birthday coming up to celebrate!

That seems so not like you to feel that you did not do well on a test. Seems to me that you have your nose in your books nearly all the time. Maybe you did better than you thought you did. I hope so.

Be well and sleep well tonight!

[labyris.livejournal.com]

That last comment was me --- thought I was logged in, sorry!

[liveonearth.livejournal.com]

Nose in books is too true. Thanks for friendly comment.

[neptunia67.livejournal.com]

Do you think the darkness is affecting you? Have you looked into seasonal affective disorder? Do you believe in that? You are used to a LOT more sun that you have gotten in the past six months.

Anyway, I have missed your posts, and hope you feel better soon.

[liveonearth.livejournal.com]

Well the sun has actually been out more than not in the last 2 weeks.....and there's soooo much more light than there was.....December was really dark. But yes, of course I know about S.A.D. and have been supplementing my vit D, C, tryptophan, zinc, magnesium/calcium, fish oil----all the stuff that's supposed to help prevent the "mood disorder". I think I'm just tired from school. It seems so pointless sometimes, so stupid. Run run run, memorize memorize memorize, write write write, run run run. ARGH! THIS is supposed to make me a good doc? I doubt it. I really do doubt it.

I also had a bad reaction to a commenter on a friends level post and don't feel safe posting anything personal. Perhaps I need to clean out my "friends". Get rid of everyone I don't really know and start over again.

[neptunia67.livejournal.com]

Hopefully you will have more hands-on, practical learning after your first year. I think the first year or two in many degrees is just a bunch of memorization that you have to do before you can start learning the important things. Hang in there.

Sorry to hear that about your journal. It is YOUR journal, YOUR space, and fuck anybody who feels the need to be offensive. Get rid of anybody who makes you uncomfortable. I don't even think you need to necessarily know them fact-to-face... but you should be able to trust them. Know what I mean? Trust them to give objective comments and not be judgmental.

[liveonearth.livejournal.com]

To be fair, the comment that got to me was not intended to be offensive or judgmental, and my reaction was the one that was irrational. The commenter who provoked the reaction is one of the less judgmental people that I know. So....I'm working on this question.....crawl into my little hole? Or keep putting my thoughts out there even though they be half baked and in process? Just because I write something doesn't mean that I think it's the end final total truth....it's just something I'm thinking about......people don't seem to get that.....they want you to BE your words (or to eat them). I am not my words.

[neptunia67.livejournal.com]

I hear ya. That's why I tend to not post much in the more public forums. I did publicly post my ideas about the school shootings and terrorism and succeeded in not taking the responses personally... but that is hard to do (remember how upset I got over the soy milk post?)

I have a friend on my list who sometimes posts but closes comments. She has something to say and write about, but just wants/needs to get it out. She doesn't want to know what other people have to say about it, or their opinions on that particular post. Sometimes she starts off with "just thinking out loud here, don't want comments..." or something along those lines. Don't know if that might be an option for you?

[liveonearth.livejournal.com]

Certainly worth considering. Considering.