Everybody is a victim when there are disputes like this. I am the victim of your pinning mentalities on me, when to me people are people are people. We have all manner of visible and invisible differences, and if we know that we are all different and all worthy, the whole fight evaporates.

Good quote. I am mostly in agreement except that I don't think it has to be about blaming the victim. It's about getting to where we can talk frankly with each other and do some self-soothing. When someone hits one of our buttons, instead of taking it out on them, we work on our buttons.