It's OK to have a sore spot. Being obese in this world is a big pain in the ass, and it isn't easy or obvious how to get started fixing it. And people can treat you downright bad. I know. We all have problems, compensation mechanisms that are not the healthiest. I think that obesity is probably one of the hardest on your self esteem because everybody can see it. The alcoholic or whatever can hide their addiction. So hang in there, cling to your self respect in spite of people calling you weak willed or whatever. You will do what you need to do, it is only a matter of time and baby steps.