Back into myself

[liveonearth]

All it takes is the tiniest little descent back into myself and things come clear again. I am in a position where I keep retreating into a turtle shell of fear and denial. It is not easy to keep my heart open. But tonight provoked by a friend teaching a meditation class I sat with a small group again and sat with myself. I arose awakened once again, if only temporarily. I know what I need to do. I think I know the cost. I do not know exactly how to do it. But I am doing it. I must. I must stay true to myself. I will surround myself with the best influences. I will be strong and nonviolent and honest and kind.

Comments

[aughraseye.livejournal.com]

I like this post. Are you still feeling conflicted about continuing at your school, or are you settling into the program?

[liveonearth.livejournal.com]

I am conflicted about just about everything.
That's just the way I am.
But I'm learning to be the way I am more consistently.
If that makes the slightest bit of sense....

[aughraseye.livejournal.com]

It makes complete sense to me. Be conflicted! I feel very similar about being sensitive to the opinion of others. Being that *is* being me, paradox and all. At least, I think that is similar to what you're saying.

I hope things are well up in Portland. :)